It is with great relief that I have decided to take a few quiet days away with the Memsahib. Things have been a little tiresome of late and we received a kind invitation from Carl Gustaf (a distant cousin who has done well for himself in Sweden).

We have always considered him a little cold and aloof, but he has suggested we come over and spend a quiet weekend in one of the country's most famouse hotels. (It was in preparation for this trip that I stepped up my fitnbess regime over the past few weeks - these people do, for some reason, seem to like wandering about naked in tha sauna, and one has to be seen to be trim).

Not quite sure what to expect - but Carl Gustaf has directed us to the town of Jukkasjärvi where we will be met by a limousine of some sort. On checking my faithful old World Atlas (most of it still coloured red), this place seems alarming close to the Arctic Circle.

Clarence has been sorting out our packing. There seems an alarming bias towards long-johns, sweaters, heavy coats, boots, thick socks, and so forth. He has limited the luggage to twelve cases each (I hate it when we have to "pack light") commenting that we are only to be away for the weekend.