Spending as much time as I do in Worcester, I have obviously had to get local staff. This week one of my most trusted and educated retainers will be leaving to pursue some futile existence in the fens. After such stirling service for the past two years, it is only right that I wish him farewell in a manner that is appropriate to such staff. To this end we will be hosting a meal this evening at a restaurant of his choosing (heavens knows where or what this will involve) and then progress to a public house to wish him bon voyage.

I do hope that things remain seemly, though I might have a quiet word with the Chief Constable to makes sure we have no unfortunate surprises.